Hang gliding in Limbo

I have lived in Limbo for many years, my mind in an inappropriate body, and have come to consider it my home. I went to live in Female-land for a while, making indelicate blunders through not knowing the language, grammar and customs. I have also lived as an ex-pat amongst the boys in Man-land county.

I expected no favours and asked for no concessions in Man-land. By pushing my way in and passing the test of coping in their territory or managing I was admitted in. I was welcome by the men who were secure in their masculinity. The best of them put in extra effort to help me when my puny muscles gave out. There is a photo of me somewhere taken in the early days flying my hang glider with the beginnings of mastery over my delta winged aircraft. It looks light but these Stubby training deltas aren't it takes three fit people to carry them up a steep hill forty or fifty times in a day. You work as a team of three, and make perhaps 5 flights each, running down the hill each time to help your team members carry the delta back up the hill. The last few carry ups at the end of a day are a long, slow, hard slog with aching muscles. There is a photo too in which I look serene; it doesn't show me gasping for breath, my chest heaving, and my heart pounding with the exertion. To get these photos on here I'll have to photograph them.

It's one thing to apply for a passport into Man-land and satisfy the criteria in a non-adversarial way and quite another to live there scared of losing your visa. Those who live in Man-land as a native by birth and don't like themselves compete to gain approval from others and look for someone to peck to feel good about themselves. The insecure resent you succeeding in Man-land where, despite the advantage of being born male-bodied, they don't and you can spot them because they pass snide remarks before you catch the whiff of desperation. It seems to me that, whether you want admittance to Man-land or Female-land, if you like yourself, have self-confidence and don't compete for your place or go begging for peer approval you come across like you belong there. Nobody you want to hang out with questions your place.

We may be meeting someone soon who emigrated from Limbo to Man-land but wishes he hadn't.