Foul mood and Writer's block

I have been in a foul mood for the best part of a week. This is rare for me. The problem at the root of this mood is a feeling of impending doom that shortly (tomorrow morning) I'm about to be funnelled into the NHS and GIC system and that it won't be able to do a thing for me. There are other minor resentments bringing my mood down but that is basically the problem which, incidentally, is causing "writer's block". The standard cure for writer's block is to sit and write, write rubbish, expect nothing, but just write. So here goes.

At some point in our lives we know that there is an anomaly "somewhere". We might deny it, ignore it or misidentify it altogether because it is beyond our ken but eventually Pandora's box opens and out comes the knowledge that we are transgendered. There may be a short-lived sense of relief to identify the anomaly but the knowledge that you are trans can't be stuffed back into Pandora's box. Jenny's blog accurately expresses the situation that befalls us after we learn that we are trans and realise that it doesn't go away in the terms of The Magic Pills. Magic pill 1 is "transition regardless of the costs and consequences". The GIC system can help you to transition. What it cannot do is give you Magic Pill 2 to "be the gender which goes with your body, and like it".

Transition isn't an option I can take at this time because the costs, consequences and disbenefits are higher for me and those I love than the benefits of transitioning. How much a GIC or other professionals can help us who are in this position seems to be unknown. In my line of work absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence though. The foul mood I have been in has been replaced with resolve to find ways to deal effectively with the problems that being trans throws at us so that they are removed or sufficiently minimised in order to be able to get on with getting the most out of life.